


The Final Goodbye

by InsertACreativeNameHere__SlavicViking



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Epistolary, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Grief, Growing Up, Mourning, Sort Of, Strained Relationships, Young Hiccup, getting better, losing a parent, post-httyd 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 00:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18201251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsertACreativeNameHere__SlavicViking/pseuds/InsertACreativeNameHere__SlavicViking
Summary: [postHTTYD2] A series of Hiccup's short monologues over the course of the first two years after Stoick dies"Hey...Dad.I……I don't really… know what to say… [...]"





	The Final Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got around to posting it here, as well. 
> 
> You can also find this story on fanfiction.net (InsertACreativeNameHere) and tumblr (slavicviking)

"Hey...Dad.

I…

…

I don't really… know what to say…

They, Astrid, told me that this, talking to You, I mean, will help. With grieving. I don't know…

Gods above…

You were always so good with Your words, with speeches, and I… I don't even know where to begin. Astrid told me to just…say what I feel, but how can you do that? I am…a mess. I don't know what I feel.

Part of me still hasn't accepted the fact that You are d- _gone_. That if, if I close my eyes and then open them again a moment later, You will not be there. That You will never… You are gone and – and I? I am lost, I feel like a child once again – clueless, thrown at unknown waters without the guidance I thought I didn't need.

The village is still standing. With many of the buildings destroyed and people wounded, but it stands tall, proud, like it has for seven generations now. Snotlout jokes that it has only been two weeks, that I still have plenty of time to burn the whole thing down. I laugh but each time I do, the knot in my stomach gets tighter. Because what if I do? What if- Astrid tells me to stop thinking like that - but what if…if I just _can't_ be the Chief, the Viking You wanted me to be?

Gods…Can You hear the way my voice brakes?

It's embarrassing.

Mom told me about Your father. In a weird, twisted way, I feel better now that I know You have been through something similar. It makes me wonder… What did You feel? How, how did You….how did You cope? How could You ignore the empty void in your heart that cannot ever be filled? Were You paralyzed with loss? Muted with sorrow?

They tell me that it's _normal_ , that, in time, I will be able to move on and let go of the painful memories, keeping the good ones close to my heart. But… I do not want to move on, not yet, not… If I move on, I accept what has happened. I cannot do that.

I…don't know what to do. I don't know what I should feel. I don't know… I don't know….

What would _You_ do?

You spend your life teaching, or trying to teach, me how to be a worthy Viking and the next Chief. I've been foolish to react to your teachings the way I did. A coward I was, a coward I still am. I-I never realized just how _much_ You did for me. And I…I was ungrateful, childishly so. You taught me how to cook, how to defend myself, how to sew… When I lost my leg, when I nearly drowned, when I was hit by lightning, You were always there. You were my greatest teacher, my authority. My hero.

Now I no longer have you, nor your lessons.

Now, I must learn myself."


End file.
